For more than two decades, Dave Glover’s voice has been a familiar presence for St. Louisans during their evening commutes. As host of The Dave Glover Show on KMOX, he’s entertained with humor and curiosity. A few months ago, however, Dave’s voice took on a quieter role—as a volunteer with Bethesda Hospice Care’s “No One Dies Alone” (NODA) program.

Dave’s path to hospice volunteering was very personal. In early 2024, his 96-year-old mother, who had lived a full and vibrant life, suffered two falls. The first was a minor setback, but the second resulted in a spiral fracture of her hip, requiring surgery. After four months at Bethesda Dilworth, she passed away in July. During his mother’s stay, Dave was introduced to the NODA program. Initially, he admits, he didn’t quite understand what it was all about.

“The words didn’t compute,” he recalls. “The thought of someone who didn’t know me or my family staying with my mother—it seemed extraordinary. Who would do that?”

The NODA program is mentioned twice to hospice patients and their families—during admission and when the patient is in their last few days. As Julie Strassman, Bethesda Hospice Care’s Manager of Support Services explains, families often don’t fully grasp the program’s value until they experience it firsthand.

“Families are often exhausted—physically and emotionally,” says Julie. “Having someone to sit vigil gives them peace of mind, whether they’re out of town or taking a break. That reassurance makes all the difference.”

That peace of mind became very real for Dave in his mother’s final days. Many NODA volunteers (Jeannine, Teresa, Andrea, Melissa and Don) sat with his mother when he and other family members couldn’t be there. Their commitment ensured she was never alone, even in the quiet hours of the night. Don was by her side at 4 a.m. when she passed, and left thoughtful notes detailing her peaceful final moments to be shared with Dave and his family.

“I didn’t feel guilty because she wasn’t alone,” Dave says, his voice heavy with emotion. “It’s as good of a dying experience as anyone could ask for. That compassion—that presence—made all the difference.”

Knowing what those volunteers had done for his mother, Dave felt compelled to pay it forward and join the program himself. While Dave had participated in countless charitable events throughout his broadcast career, this felt different.

“I used to show up at events, crack jokes and sign autographs—and get much more credit than I felt I deserved,” he says. “But this—this is real. It challenges you in ways you never expect.”

Training to become a NODA volunteer was intense, but Dave embraced it. The six-session training taught him to recognize signs of discomfort, advocate for patients and provide emotional support. Dave was driven by the understanding that his mother’s NODA volunteers had made a difference in her final moments, and he wanted to offer that same comfort and companionship to someone else.

“This is like the Navy SEALs of volunteering,” says Dave. “You walk away feeling prepared for anything.”

Once trained, NODA volunteers like Dave receive texts about once a week with requests for help. He has already sat vigil many times.

Dave also completed training as a Hospice “Caring Companion,” and thanks to Melissa Helmkamp, Bethesda Hospice Care’s Volunteer Coordinator, he was matched with Bethesda Dilworth resident Jackie Whitworth. A sharp-witted former teacher and principal, Jackie appreciates the companionship that Dave provides.

“From day one, we just got each other,” Dave says. “We talk about everything—from daily complaints to personal tragedies to crazy college stories. She doesn’t hold back.”

Their bond has deepened through weekly visits. Every Thursday, Dave arrives with fresh flowers and Italian pastries from Missouri Baking Company, including Jackie’s favorite cream puffs.

“She tells him things she doesn’t share with anyone else,” says Jackie’s daughter, Buffy Einspanier. “Knowing my Mom has Dave and the Hospice Care volunteers is a huge comfort.”

For Dave, the connection is equally meaningful. While the idea of being present during a patient’s final moments once felt overwhelming, he now finds it deeply rewarding. Though he has not yet experienced a patient passing in his presence, he feels prepared for when the time comes.

“You’re there to serve that person,” he explains. “In those moments, nothing else matters. It’s about giving them that comfort and dignity.”

Reflecting on the past year, Dave acknowledges how much his life has changed. From the heartbreak of losing his mother to discovering a profound sense of purpose as a hospice volunteer, he feels immense gratitude knowing his presence brings comfort to others in their most vulnerable times.

Dave often shares his experiences on his talk show, encouraging others to get involved.

“There are so many ways to help,” he says. “Whether it’s sitting vigil or simply visiting someone, this work fills your life with meaning.”

To learn more or find information on being a NODA Volunteer, visit Bethesda Hospice Care’s page.

The post A Voice of Comfort: KMOX’s Dave Glover Joins Bethesda’s “No One Dies Alone” Program first appeared on Bethesda Health Group.

For those reading this who wake up every morning and head into their place of business, retirement may sound like a dream come true. However, not having a place where people are counting on them, or where they are making a difference in the lives of others, can make a senior feel unimportant. Volunteering can provide anyone, but especially an older adult, with a feeling of accomplishment and community.

Why Volunteer at a Senior Living Community?

At a senior living community, like Bethesda’s communities throughout the St. Louis area, volunteers are often needed and always welcome.

But volunteering does not only benefit those receiving the service. The act of volunteering provides the volunteer with:

• A sense of purpose
• The feeling that they’re making a difference in the world or in the lives of other people
• Social interaction, which keeps them from feeling isolated and lonely
• Something positive to focus on and put energy into
• Physical activity, which improves health and mobility

Especially during retirement, when a senior may have more time, volunteering is worthwhile. There are many benefits of being a senior living volunteer, including:

• Senior volunteers may live longer than their counterparts who don’t donate their time due to an increase in socialization, physical activity, and sense of purpose.
• Donating time gives senior volunteers opportunities to keep their skills sharp and to indulge in their own interests.
• Older adults who volunteer tend to get more exercise and are less apt to lose their mobility.
• Volunteers can make friends by getting “out and about” in the community.
• Volunteering helps keep the minds of older adults sharp.

Skilled Nursing Volunteer Opportunities

There is no shortage of need for volunteers at a skilled nursing community. If you like to play games, you can call the numbers in a bingo game or set up an art activity. If you’re good with numbers, you can help out in the office. If you’ve got a sense of fashion, you could volunteer to do residents’ hair or give manicures. Other opportunities include transporting residents from their rooms to the dining area.

Become a Hospice Care Volunteer

Hospice care volunteers play a special part in the lives of seniors and their families. These volunteers make patients more comfortable by doing things like reading to them, listening to music, hearing their life stories, or simply keeping them company and providing support during a difficult time.

Hospice care volunteers, like those in Bethesda’s No One Dies Alone program, sit vigil and provide a peaceful presence at the bedside of hospice patients. This allows family members to tend to other responsibilities and recharge, knowing their loved one is not alone.

Senior living volunteers can also assist with fundraising or clerical work, or by donating their time to bereavement services.

Start Making a Difference at Bethesda

If you’re interested in making a difference in the life of a senior, there are plenty of opportunities available to volunteer at Bethesda’s skilled nursing, assisted living, or hospice care communities.

Ready to make a difference? Become a Bethesda volunteer today!

The post Why Should You Volunteer at a Senior Living Community? first appeared on Bethesda Health Group.

When a person is admitted into hospice care, it means their care team has shifted its focus from trying to overcome the medical issues affecting the patient – things like cancer, heart disease, or major organ failure – to trying to make the patient as comfortable as possible as they move toward the end of their life.

Hospice care, however, does not mean that death is necessarily eminent. It’s common for hospice patients to live longer than expected. One example is former U.S. President Jimmy Carter, who recently passed away at 100 following nearly two years in a hospice program.

Being sent to hospice is often misunderstood, and your senior loved ones, like you, are likely to have lots of questions and concerns. They may also have end-of-life needs that they’d like you to help them address. So, what’s the best strategy for comforting someone on hospice, talking to them about their situation, and ensuring they have everything they need physically and emotionally?

Be a Source of Comfort

When you love someone, you want to ease their worries and fix their problems. When they’ve reached the stage where hospice can provide the comfort they seek, there isn’t anything you can do to “fix” the situation. This may be a difficult transition for you to navigate, but providing them with support and comfort during their time on hospice might be the best thing you can do. Comforting someone on hospice can look like the following:

• Bringing sentimental gifts to show them how much they mean to you.
• Reminding them of good times with items like old photos of memories you shared together or thoughtful cards that express your feelings.
• Bringing practical comfort items like cozy blankets or sachets with soothing scents.

The best you can do, however, is to just be present. Spend time with them to take their mind off the situation. Often people are afraid to visit family members in hospice care, primarily because they don’t know what to say. But don’t let that be an obstacle, because you’re certain to regret missing your chance to support your loved one when they needed you most.

Things to Say to Hospice Patients

“How are you doing?” It may seem like a silly question or one that is setting you up for an embittered response. But it reminds a hospice patient that they still have life to live and what they feel or need is important to you. It’s important to let them know that they still matter and make a difference in your life.

“Would you like to do something together?” If they’re strong enough, you might make a visit to their favorite restaurant, take them for a drive to see their favorite park or their childhood home. If they’re not up for outdoor activities, you could watch their favorite movie or the TV show of their choice, read a book to them, or play their favorite game with them.

“Can I get you anything?” It could be something as simple as a cool drink or an additional pillow, or as specific as picking up their favorite dish, helping them draft letters to other loved ones or assisting in carrying out their wishes.

“I remember when we…” Show your loved one how much they’ve meant to you by reminiscing about times when you did things together, when they helped you out or when they accomplished something you admire. It will make them feel special and remind them that their life has meaning and won’t soon be forgotten.

“I love you…” Undoubtedly the most important words of all, and you don’t need to say them in a dramatic way to remind your loved one how important they are to you.

Things to Avoid Saying

“Everything happens for a reason.” When comforting someone on hospice, this or similar remarks sound insensitive to the ears of a person who has been told that they’re going to die because they diminish their intense feelings about the situation they’re trying to contend with.

“I can’t imagine going through what you’re experiencing.” It’s likely the person on hospice is having a challenging time grasping the situation themselves. This sort of statement is simply going to remind the person you’re trying to comfort of how dire their situation is, exactly the opposite of what you want to do. Also, it’s recommended you don’t tell them they’re “brave” because it could cause a great deal of anxiety to stress the gravity of the situation to a person who may not feel very courageous.

“I can’t handle this.” It’s important to try to keep your emotions in check when you visit your loved one on hospice because they need you to comfort them, not to feel as if they need to comfort you. Saying things like this makes the person feel like they have a responsibility for your well-being that they can no longer meet.

“You seem to be getting better.” While they may indeed be more lucid or have more energy after being transferred from aggressive medical treatment to hospice care, the fact is they’re in the middle of a difficult situation which is accepting they’re not going to get better. Stating otherwise can be counterproductive by stirring up inner conflict and even triggering denial in the hospice patient. It’s important to be kind but honest with your loved one if you want to support them in their end-of-life journey.

Visit Bethesda Hospice Care’s page for more tips on comforting someone on hospice and explore our compassionate support services.

The post How to Comfort Someone in Hospice Care first appeared on Bethesda Health Group.

When to Consider Hospice Care

People are eligible for hospice care when a physician determines that life expectancy is six months or less, provided a terminal illness runs its normal course. Recertification can take place if a hospice patient continues to live six months after participation. Following the physician’s determination, family members or friends can also refer the person to hospice care, or the person can choose to enter hospice on his or her own.

The decision to enter hospice care is based on many factors, including:

• Frequent trips to the ER or hospital for disease complications
• Frequent calls to physician’s office
• Increased pain
• Issues with ineffective pain medications
• Shortness of breath, even at rest
• Significant, unintentional weight loss
• Increased confusion
• Withdrawal
• Most of time spent in a chair or in bed
• Skin tears, infections, and other signs of deteriorating health
• Assistance needed with most activities of daily living
• Frequent falls

At its most basic, hospice care should be considered when an illness has progressed to the point that there is no cure. Pain management and comfort become the primary focus for patients rather than treatment.

What Can Hospice Do?

The hospice team will work with the patient and their family to determine the goals about the kind of care that will be provided. The patient does not lose control of his or her choices when it comes to the care he or she will receive.

Hospice can provide care in a hospital setting, a senior community or the patient’s home. Depending upon the hospice program, care is provided by a team of professionals. For example, the team could include:

• Nurses/case managers
• Hospice aides
• Social workers
• Hospice Medical Director
• Therapists
• Pharmacists
• Chaplains
• Volunteers
• Bereavement counselors

Nurses/case managers will visit and provide care. They will also coordinate the hospice team’s care.

Hospice aides are on hand to help the patient with daily activities like dressing, bathing and eating.

Social workers offer counseling services and can provide referrals to other support systems.

The hospice medical director oversees care, along with a primary physician chosen by the patient.

Therapists, such as those specializing in speech, physical, or occupational therapy, can help patients better manage the physical aspects of their daily lives.

Pharmacists provide medication oversight and recommendations of medications for symptom relief.

Chaplains or other spiritual counselors offer spiritual care and guidance for the family if requested.

Volunteers are trained to offer a variety of services, including providing company, giving family members time to rest, helping with transportation needs or other practical needs.

Bereavement counselors provide support and guidance to family members after the death of the loved one.

In addition, all medical equipment and supplies related to the diagnosis are provided.

Hospice care is covered by Medicare, Medicaid, and most private insurance companies (check with your insurer), meaning the team care and extra support provided is generally provided at no cost to the patient or their family.

Veterans Benefits are also available for hospice care.

Hospice decreases the burden on family members who may have been providing care. This also enables them to spend more relaxed, quality time with their senior loved one.

Hospice staff will make regular visits to where the patient resides, and staff is on call 24/7.

Timing is Important

The full benefits of hospice cannot be realized in the last few days of a terminal illness. If you qualify for hospice or your loved one qualifies, there is no reason to hesitate accessing the care it provides. Should the patient recover from the illness or wish to resume curative treatment, he or she are free to leave the program.

Unfortunately, statistics show that 43 percent of people who qualify for hospice do not enter a program until the final weeks of life.

Entering hospice is not a sign of defeat or resignation. In fact, it has been shown that hospice patients live longer than people with a terminal illness who choose not to enter hospice.

But it’s not just the length of life that can be increased, it is also the improvement in the quality of life that hospice provides its patients, and the support family members receive from it.

For more tips on Hospice, visit Bethesda’s Hospice Care blog.

The post How to Know When It’s Time for Hospice Care first appeared on Bethesda Health Group.

Debunking 9 Different Hospice Care Myths

Myth 1: Going into hospice care means a person is giving up.  Laura says that one of her former patients was so misinformed about hospice he thought she was there to give him a lethal injection.

Another version of that same hospice care myth – the role of hospice is to simply load a patient up with morphine.

“This is not at all what hospice is about,” Laura says. “Hospice is for people when treatment for an illness is no longer effective or the patient doesn’t want any more aggressive treatment. We are there to provide comfort care, ease pain, and give our patients the best quality of life possible.”

Myth 2: Once a person enters hospice care they can never leave. “A person does not have to stay in a hospice program,” Laura says. “They are free to sign out at any time.”

To enter hospice, a physician must sign an order stating that a person has less than six months to live due to an illness. Hospice care organizations periodically review each patient’s case to see if they should remain in the program. After six months, the patient could remain in hospice care if a physician feels that their passing is still likely to occur within the next six months.

According to Laura, hospice care does not provide aggressive treatment for a terminal illness, but rather pain management and comfort care. But there are situations when things change. She relates the story of a woman who entered hospice care because she no longer wanted to undergo chemotherapy. “While in hospice care she began to feel better and decided to leave the program and begin chemotherapy again,” Laura says.

Myth 3: A hospice care patient can’t keep their own physician. “Hospice patients get to choose their physician,” Laura says.

Myth 4: While in hospice care, you will not receive medical care for any other injury or illness. Hospice is about providing comfort care for the condition that has led to a terminal diagnosis, but it doesn’t keep a patient from receiving treatment for other medical needs.

“A person can still go to their eye doctor or any other specialist,” Laura says. “It’s just that anything not related to their terminal illness does not fall under hospice services.”

Laura suggests that since there are many different Medicare Advantage plans, people should check with their insurance before scheduling a medical appointment or procedure.

Myth 5: Hospice care is too expensive. According to Laura, people with Medicare or Medicaid receive extensive coverage for hospice expenses. “All services that hospice provides are covered 100 percent by Medicare and Medicaid,” she says. Veterans Affairs also provides coverage for hospice.

Patients not covered under these programs would have to check with their private insurance carriers. Laura says many private insurances cover hospice care, and may work with a list of preferred hospice providers, and therefore require preauthorization.

Myth 6: Hospice care only occurs in the hospital. Hospice care rarely occurs in the hospital, according to Laura. It’s most often provided in private homes and senior living communities. The exception is that if symptoms cannot be controlled in these settings, a hospital may be required to get the symptoms under control. After that occurs, the patient can return to their home or senior living community. Hospice care team members will continue to check with the patient during their hospitalization for symptom management purposes.

Myth 7: Hospice care is only for people with cancer. Hospice is not restricted to cancer patients. To be eligible for hospice care, a person must have a condition where life expectancy is less than six months, and when there is no treatment available that would be effective or the patient declines further treatment. The Hospice Care Medical Director determines if the person’s condition qualifies. Some examples include:

• End-stage Alzheimer’s disease
• Parkinson’s disease
• Lewy-Body dementia
• End-stage liver disease
• Kidney failure
• End-stage heart disease
• Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS)

Myth 8: Hospice care is just an organization of volunteers. “All hospices must provide certain professional services,” Laura says. She lists Bethesda’s hospice services as an example:

• RN case manager
• Hospice aides
• Chaplains
• Social workers
• Physicians
• Therapists
• Dietitians

These professionals not only care for the patient, they educate family members who participate in caregiving about how to best support and care for their loved one in hospice. “Family members are very grateful for the help and education hospice provides,” Laura says.

Myth 9: Once the hospice care patient dies, hospice services end. When the patient dies, the family is not neglected. Bereavement support is offered for an additional 13 months at no cost.

According to Laura, hospice patients are more concerned about their loved ones than they are about themselves. “It gives them comfort to know that we will be helping their loved ones after they have passed.”

Visit Bethesda’s Hospice Care blog to find more information on transitioning a senior loved one to hospice.

The post 9 Hospice Care Myths Debunked first appeared on Bethesda Health Group.

1. Install Hand Rails & Shower Seats in Bathrooms

Hospice patients are extremely susceptible to slips and falls in the bathroom. These simple additions will make it much easier for your loved one to use the bathroom. A Bethesda home health aide will also provide additional support in the bathroom.

2. Minimize Need for Stairs

Your loved one may eventually have trouble with stairs. Consider arranging for a hospital bed on the first floor of the family home, as well as a wheelchair to help them get around.

3. Prevent Oxygen Tank Fires

Your loved one may eventually need an oxygen tank. If so, keep in mind that the oxygen is highly flammable. Therefore, avoid smoking in the house to prevent the risk of fire.

4. Collect Medical Records & Supplies

You’ll want to have copies of all medical records and medications easily accessible. Consider putting together a folder that is easily accessible with all of their medical records as well as an emergency medical kit. There are many valuable resources available to help you organize these records, such as Bethesda’s free Personal Emergency Medical Information Kit.

5. Keep Important Third Parties Up-to-Date

While your loved one is in hospice care, you should make sure certain parties have your correct contact information in case they need to reach you. This includes:

• Nurses
• Social workers
• Home health aides
• Clergy
• Hospice volunteers

The Bethesda Difference

At Bethesda, we provide exceptional senior care through a holistic approach that cares for every aspect of life: physical, social, emotional and spiritual. Our level of care and attention even benefits the patient’s adult children, who take comfort in knowing that their parent is receiving the very best care.

Learn about all Hospice care options available to you.

The post 5 Tips for Preparing Your Home for Hospice Care first appeared on Bethesda Health Group.

Let’s look at a side-by-side comparison of palliative and hospice care.

What kind of care is provided?

Palliative Care

Palliative care is specialized medical care focused on providing relief from symptoms. Specially trained teams of physicians, nurses, and other specialists work with the patient’s physician to improve the patient’s quality of life. In addition, it provides the patient and their loved ones with more control over their health care decisions, including their goals for the patient and options for care.

Palliative care can be performed while still receiving treatments. It does serve many people with life-threatening or terminal illnesses, but some people become cured and no longer require the care, or move in and out of the program.

Palliative care is available in a person’s home, or an assisted living or skilled nursing home community.

Hospice Care

Hospice care is focused on end-of-life care that eases pain and provides comfort care to the patient rather than curative care or treatments.

Hospice care also brings together a specialized team. For example, the Bethesda Hospice Care team consists of:

• Physicians
• RN case managers
• Chaplains
• Social workers (trained in hospice services)
• Therapists
• Dietitians
• Bereavement Counselors

The care plan is flexible and can include a re-evaluation of current medications that may no longer be effective. Communications with the patient and family members are constantly maintained to meet current needs and anticipate future requirements.

Hospice care can be made available in a person’s home, assisted living community, skilled nursing community, hospital, or hospice facility. Bethesda provides private hospice suites for the hospice patient and a place for the family to gather together at three of its skilled nursing communities.

Who might receive palliative or hospice care?

Palliative Care

This care might be appropriate for someone with a serious illness, such as cancer, heart, kidney, or lung disease or dementia. People who make frequent emergency room visits, three or more hospital admissions per year, or who are suffering serious side effects from treatments like chemotherapy also would be candidates.

A person can enter palliative care through a physician referral.

Hospice Care

A person who has a life-limiting condition with a prognosis of six months or less if the condition runs its normal course. The primary care physician then writes an order for a hospice evaluation/consult to initiate the hospice referral.

A physician must certify that the patient is terminally ill, with a six-month or less life expectancy. If however, the patient lives longer than six months, they can still qualify for hospice as long as they are re-certified by a physician.

Benefits of Hospice Care

Hospice care is a unique service, that provides benefits to both the patient and their families. Hospice care benefits include:

• Pain and symptom management
• Emotional, psychosocial, and spiritual support for patients and families
• End of life planning, Advanced Directives, and Funeral planning
• Medications, medical equipment, and supplies
• Bereavement Care and Counseling

Who covers the costs?

Palliative care

Medicare and private insurers cover some costs. It’s advisable to check your policy or call your insurance company. Medicaid covers some costs of palliative care, but ask the organization that is providing the services to see what co-pays or fees may be required.

Hospice care

Medicare pays all charges for seniors related to hospice care. Most insurances and the Veteran’s Administration also cover hospice services in full or with co-pays. Medicaid.gov provides information on Medicaid coverage for hospice.

Bethesda Hospice Care provides support to seniors and their loved ones, whether at home or at one of our communities. This unique program provides comfort and attention to the quality of life. Contact us to learn more.

The post Understanding the Difference Between Palliative and Hospice Care first appeared on Bethesda Health Group.

Leslie adds that grief support services are beneficial for anyone who has lost someone close to them. “This helps them understand the kind of grieving that eventually leads to peace and healing and what grieving is harmful,” she says.

Understanding the Stages of Grief

Many people have heard about the five stages of grief:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

According to Leslie, the word “stages” may be misleading. “Grief does not follow a sequential order,” she says. “You don’t necessary move from one through five. There can be a mix of feelings over a period of time. Even becoming tearful may not happen until 7 or 8 months after the death of a loved one.”

When Grief Begins to Take a Destructive Turn

When grief severely affects us mentally, physically and emotionally, this needs to be addressed. Difficulty eating, sleeping or caring for oneself, and meeting basic human needs, are examples that require a visit with a primary care physician as well as ongoing grief support.

It is normal to have a period of time, typically the first few weeks to months, where the grieving person experiences intense feelings of sorrow and numbness. However, if the symptoms do not seem to be decreasing, or if they start increasing, it should be a concern.

Emotional and behavioral responses that are too intense or too frequent. Some people may block out all thoughts of the person they have lost, seeking relief in complete detachment. Leslie says this may also mean withdrawing from friends and family. Some triggers for this response could be if there were regrets or anything left undone when the loved one passed, such as words of forgiveness and healing, or even the opportunity to say good-bye.

Use of alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. Leslie cautions that, aside from the physical harm that drugs and alcohol can have, their use simply delays the grief process that needs to occur.

Complicated grief. This is a deeper more debilitating level of grief when painful emotions do not subside with time. “This is grief that makes moving forward without the loved one seem impossible,” Leslie says. “Some people who have a previous history of anxiety, depression or mental illness are more susceptible to complicated grief.”

Grief that Heals

Do things that bring you comfort as long as what you are doing is not a health hazard. Leslie tells the story of a woman who kept her late husband’s slippers beside his recliner for a time as a comfort to her.

Keep your loved one’s legacy alive. What connected you in life to the person who has died is still a connection in your heart. You can still remember Dad, all the things he valued, his philosophy, personality, quirks, and times of laughter.

Grief Myths

One myth holds that if we ignore the pain of a loss it will go away more quickly. “You can only sweep it under the rug for so long,” Leslie says. “At some point, it’s going to surface.”

Another myth is that crying is a sign of weakness. “I believe we learn how to grieve by watching our parents grieve. Older generations tend to be more stoic; careful not to reveal their emotions. We believe that crying is a natural response that can be healthy,” she says.

In addition, some people believe that a lack of tears reveals an uncaring attitude. According to Leslie, grief affects people differently. “You may not cry for months and then one day you hear a song you and your loved one shared and the tears will come,” she says.

Grief during the COVID-19 Pandemic

Grief is about dealing with loss. Most often, the loss is associated with the death of a loved one. However, people experience loss throughout all stages of life. Because of physical or cognitive challenges, they may no longer be able to pursue interests or hobbies they once enjoyed. Perhaps they have lost economic security or their sense of self-worth.

During the pandemic, seniors may lose contact with friends and family members, and not be able to celebrate the life events that make life worthwhile.

Leslie cites the work of Dr. Alan Wolfelt, who offers ways to cope with these losses during the pandemic.

Bethesda Grief Support

Bethesda Hospice Care provides grief support to anyone who has lost a loved one. Surviving family members of loved ones who were in the Bethesda hospice program can receive grief support for up to 13 months after the death.

The program includes condolence calls and check-in calls to see how the family is coping. “We provide emotional support, and walk them through the ways that can promote peace and healing,” Leslie says.

The program offers free, online virtual grief support groups and grief counseling sessions.

If you are interested in learning more about Bethesda Hospice Care grief support groups or joining our upcoming sessions, please contact us today.

The post Signs You Need Grief Support first appeared on Bethesda Health Group.

A woman, terminally ill with cancer and in the early stages of dementia, was living in a Bethesda assisted living community. “Sometimes she wasn’t aware that there was anything wrong with her,” Dorothy recalls. “She was amazed and somewhat bewildered at all of the people taking care of her, which included Bethesda assisted living staff and Bethesda Hospice Care staff. She thought I was from her church and was gratified that her church was doing so much to care for her.”

Each day, the woman ate with her friends in the dining room. If she was not there, one of her favorite places was at the end of a couch next to a fireplace in one of the common areas at Bethesda Hawthorne Place, greeting people as they passed.

In the last days of her life, friends visited her in her assisted living apartment. A daughter, who was retired, spent hours providing additional care to her mother. When she died, she was surrounded by family in the place she called home. “At her memorial service, people from Bethesda shared stories about her,” Dorothy says. “These recollections were treasured by her family.”

“What matters to hospice patients are people—family, friends—having them nearby and making the most of the present,” she adds. “That’s what hospice care is about.”

Two Philosophies, One Goal

Dorothy notes that assisted living staff are focused on keeping the senior active and involved with others. “The staff wants to maintain or improve the physical and mental health of the residents, so they encourage residents to leave their apartment and participate in activities,” she says.

Assisted living at Bethesda, depending upon resident needs, provide the following services:

• Assistance with activities of daily living (dressing, hygiene, etc.)
• Medication management
• Housekeeping
• Laundry services
• Transportation and outings

Hospice care is about providing comfort when a diagnosis of terminal illness of six months or less is made, and the hospice patient does not want to undergo further curative treatment. The emphasis is on comfort, the quality of the life left and pain management.

According to Dorothy, when assisted living and hospice staff come together over the care of a hospice patient/resident, the focus is on what is needed for the patient. “We talk with the assisted living staff about when and how to encourage hospice patients to take part in activities,” she says. “Perhaps the patient doesn’t have the energy. The staff can repeat the offer the next day, if appropriate, or no longer try to encourage it. We also educate about the dying process if needed so all staff are aware of what that entails.”

Frequent discussions occur between the hospice nurse manager and the director of nursing in the assisted living community surrounding changing care needs. These conversations can also include family members and the hospice patient if they are capable of attending.

According to Dorothy, if the care needs of the hospice patient exceed the parameters of assisted living capabilities, family members may consider stepping in to provide more care for their loved one, hiring private duty services to supplement the assisted living staff or moving the patient to long-term care.

What if More Intensive Care is Needed?

“At Bethesda, our assisted living staff work hard and are very committed to providing care until the life of a hospice patient ends,” Dorothy says. “They are aware that moving these people to another level of care is traumatic and physically draining for the patient and the family. This is particularly true if the patient has dementia. The disorientation that results causes severe confusion and emotional disturbance.

“Unless the hospice patient cannot receive the care that is needed or financial concerns make it unfeasible, it’s best to stay in the assisted living community where they know the staff, are familiar with the surroundings and have friends they can socialize with.”

Another Consideration When it Comes to Long-Term Care

Dorothy suggests that family members consult financial advisors and/or geriatric care managers well before funds run out for assisted living care so that other care options within the community can be explored.

To learn more about the services and amenities we can offer your senior loved ones, check out our care management page.

The post The Role of Hospice in Assisted Living first appeared on Bethesda Health Group.

“My mother could cook anything,” Dena recalls. “As a child, I would eat and eat and gain weight.” In fact, Dena says her one regret in life is that she could not rise to the level of her mother’s cooking skills, especially her ability to make authentic delicious Greek meals. Part of the frustration – her mother didn’t write down recipes. She taught her daughters to cook by having them watch her in action, and though they tried, they didn’t quite achieve their mother’s expertise.

Of course, their mother spent three hours a day on average in the kitchen.

Dena is now 86 and a hospice care resident at Bethesda Dilworth, a skilled nursing home community in St. Louis, MO. The food at Bethesda Dilworth is good, but did not offer a Greek cuisine anywhere close to the level that Dena enjoyed growing up.

And Dena missed the authentic Greek food that her Mom used to make.

Dena shared her desire with Allison Givens, a social worker with Bethesda Hospice Care. That was all Allison needed to hear. She contacted Nick Stratos, the owner of Spiro’s Restaurant in South St. Louis, and shared the story of Dena and her desire for authentic Greek food.

Nick was touched, and he arranged for his cooks to make an order of dolmades especially for Dena, which he kindly provided at no charge. Dolmades is a dish contained a filling of ground beef and lamb, with several spices, rice, garlic, onion, and dill, wrapped in grape leaves and topped with an egg/lemon sauce.

Allison presented it to Dena, who enjoyed it immensely. “Wonderful,” was her official critique, which is high praise from someone who was raised on authentic homemade Greek cuisine.

“I felt very flattered and honored that she liked our cooking,” Nick says. “After hearing her story, it was the least we could do.”

“It was very gratifying when I learned that Spiro’s would be able to help us,” says Allison. “I knew what a treat this would be for Dena, how much she would enjoy it, and what wonderful memories this meal would create. She is such a neat lady, and I’m so happy we were able to do this for her.”

Allison’s interaction with Dena began with the challenge of pronouncing “Marmigas” correctly. “It was pretty bad at the beginning, and Dena used to laugh at me,” Allison says. “I kept working at it every time I saw Dena, and I kept getting closer and closer to saying it right. Finally, one day I got it, and we had a mini celebration!”

In addition, the sisters were introduced to a volunteer/employee at Bethesda Dilworth who played the bouzouki. The bouzouki is a plucked musical instrument of the lute family that their father used to play. Watch the video below to experience the sounds firsthand.

“You could tell that any opportunity to engage Dena into an aspect of the Greek culture means the world to her,” Allison says.

As does the effort made by a certain employee who made sure she enjoyed a “wonderful” meal.

If you or a loved one are in need of Hospice Care, contact Bethesda. Our professional staff and caring volunteers will ensure that you make the most of your time together.

The post Caregiver’s Gesture Goes “Above and Beyond” for Hospice Care Patient first appeared on Bethesda Health Group.