{"id":1503,"date":"2024-06-12T09:00:58","date_gmt":"2024-06-12T14:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bethesdahealth.org\/blog\/?p=1503"},"modified":"2024-06-20T12:02:33","modified_gmt":"2024-06-20T17:02:33","slug":"when-you-should-step-in-to-help-your-aging-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bethesdahealth.org\/blog\/when-you-should-step-in-to-help-your-aging-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"When You Should Step in to Help Your Aging Parents"},"content":{"rendered":"

Aging parents may ask for the occasional favor, but most won\u2019t ask for help around the house or with their daily activities, even when they need\u00a0<\/em>it, says Alberta Chokshi, a social worker and director of quality improvement for\u00a0Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Chokshi, who has been working with families for more than 40 years, says that instead of seeking help, it\u2019s typical for\u00a0elderly parents\u00a0to adapt and adjust their activities and routines.<\/p>\n

They do household chores more slowly (or not at all). They may use\u00a0adaptive devices, such as a cane, reacher, or magnifying glass. Perhaps they\u2019ve lined up someone to pick them up for errands and appointments. And \u2014 often just to please their children \u2014 they will wear a medical alert bracelet or necklace.<\/p>\n

WHAT OUR AGING PARENTS DON\u2019T ADMIT<\/strong><\/h2>\n

But they usually aren\u2019t admitting \u2014 especially to their adult children \u2014 that they tend to drop heavy pots, trip on the basement steps, are confused about when to take their medications, or back into things with the car.<\/p>\n

They don\u2019t think it\u2019s any of their kids\u2019 business. Or, they are in denial about what\u2019s going on.<\/p>\n

TRY TO SEE THE BIG PICTURE<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Denial isn\u2019t all on the parents\u2019 side. Adult children are often deep in it, too.<\/p>\n

They don\u2019t want to admit that a parent is declining and needs help. They may resist accepting that familial roles are starting to reverse and that they need to step in, either helping a parent themselves or lining up support.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re guilty of denial, it\u2019s time for you to take a hard look around for the telltale signs that things aren\u2019t going well for a parent or loved one.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t just look for safety and health troubles, Chokshi advises. Look for things that could point to problems with how a parent is functioning on a daily basis, and also check on whether companionship and socialization needs are being met. Try to check out the whole physical, emotional and psychological picture.<\/p>\n

Also, look for indicators that your parent\u2019s spiritual needs are being met. Many older adults have had very strong and active affiliations with their religious organizations and it\u2019s important for them to keep those up.<\/p>\n

WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The following are incidents, situations, and observations to be on the lookout for and, where appropriate, question aging parents about:<\/p>\n