Time is a funny thing.
The other day I sat with my computer on the shopping street near my Alma matter. It was a beautiful day and sitting out there transported me back in time to when I was a student.
I felt the same exact way I felt when I was 21 and temporarily forgot the last eleven years had even happened. It was almost like I was living in an apartment right off campus and taking advantage of the fact that I could walk with my computer to a coffee shop and change up my scenery.
Until I heard a group of girls who are actually in college talking at the next table. They punctuated every sentence with the word “like,” all had matching processed blonde hair, and talked loudly about their plans for Valentine’s Day.
Their conversation burst my reverie bubble and left me feeling out of sorts. Suddenly I was hyper aware of the fact that I haven’t had time to dye my roots and there were quite a few grey hairs dotting the top of my head. (To be fair, I also had them when I was in college, but at that moment they made me feel old).
The girls kept stopping their conversations to check their phones and I had another surreal moment of feeling without time. The street still looked, felt, and sounded the same, but these foreign elements were changing it. I barely figured out that my phone had texting capabilities when I was a freshman in college. Nowadays people can do literally everything from their phones.
How different would college have been if things like online dating and Netflix took up most of our time? Would I have had the same kind of experience I actually did have? Thinking about the difference in time was disconcerting.
The area around campus has always felt like a safe haven to me. It still did that day, it also made me feel like an imposter being there. Like everyone could glance at me and tell that I was out of place.
That’s silly, I know, and it wasn’t actually happening, but the collision of past, present, and future was almost too much to handle. It was like the past and the future met head on and the impact was so intense it completely knocked me off balance.
I couldn’t help but think about my college self and whether or not she would be happy with the way my life has turned out. Or if she were a college student today, would that significantly change the course of her life?
They say only time will tell, but I’m not so sure that’s true. I think it’s more up to us to decide what to do with time.