You know that phrase “whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right?” I’ve been thinking a lot about that reasoning lately and I’m starting to see just how true it is.
Obviously it’s a little more complicated than the simplicity of the statement, but actually not by a lot. For years I struggled with confidence. I knew I was smart and I knew I was funny. I even knew I was pretty capable, but for some reason I didn’t allow that to translate into confidence in my skills and my abilities—especially in the workforce.
When I’m actually doing a job, I feel like I can handle it. When I’m trying to apply for jobs or go through the interview process, however, it’s a totally different story.
I don’t know why, but I was stuck telling myself this story that I’m not good enough to get high-paying jobs that require a hefty combination of education and experience. I have two masters’ degrees and I’ve been working in the same field for the better part of the last decade. Most people in my position would be earning a completely acceptable salary that affords them the opportunity to pay off loans, buy a house, and live a generally comfortable life.
The problem is, when you tell yourself negative stories like that, that’s the reality you create. I allowed myself to feel like I wasn’t good enough for better jobs, which kept me stuck in positions that paid me less than some friends who didn’t have any degrees. What was the point of paying for two graduate degrees if I’m only striving for positions that require a bachelors degree?
Friends and family have been trying for years to get me to increase my career confidence. They constantly tell me that I am good enough for those amazing jobs that I never feel like I deserve.
“You’re one of the smartest people I know.”
“You have so much experience.”
“You’re the only one I’d trust to do this project.” These are high-caliber compliments that multiple people have said to me over and over. If you don’t believe things like this about yourself, though, it doesn’t matter how many times people tell you. They literally go in one ear and right out the other.
Feeling bad about yourself is like continuously living a self-fulfilling prophecy. You’re already seeking out people and experiences that prove your point. Until you make that change in your mind, you will always find a reason to believe that you aren’t good enough or smart enough or experienced enough.
I don’t know what inspired me to make that mental switch, but I have. Slowly my thoughts are turning more toward the things I want instead of the things I feel like I don’t deserve. When someone compliments me, I’m more likely to believe them.
More importantly, though, I don’t need those affirmations to believe it myself.
And just like all of those overly positive motivational sayings promised, I’m already starting to see more opportunities come my way. Because I believe I deserve them.
I just looked up and saw a card that says, “Your future looks bright.” You know what? I’m finally starting to agree with that.
