How Sweet It Isn’t

A few weeks ago I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and took a scissor to some annoying hairs at the nape of the neck. Just to be safe, I clipped another small section of hair. I gathered the locks into an envelope, sealed it, and drove it right over to a mailbox to ensure it sent that day.

You might think it’s weird that I was excited to mail off pieces of my hair, but I promise there was an important reason why I did it. The hair was on its way to a lab in New York where some very smart scientists would test it to find out exactly what I’m allergic to.

Even as I write that, I realize that most people *still* wouldn’t be excited about it, but for me, it was huge. So huge, in fact, that in the moment I mailed the envelope was on par with massive life events like moving to a different country and getting my first real job.

Before you think I’m crazy and have too little excitement in my life, I started to get hives right after I turned 30. They weren’t just the occasional itchy spot, either. I’m talking full-body hives, uncomfortable swelling of hands and lips, and the constant need to take Benadryl to try to keep myself from scratching my skin off. I soon realized that dairy seemed to make the hives worse. I got hives almost every single day for five months straight.

Now do you see why I was so excited for this allergy test?

Anyway, after I gave up dairy, I noticed my sinuses were more congested than they should have been. Some quick research showed that an allergy to wheat could cause this issue.

Sigh, really? I had already sacrificed dairy and now I had to give up wheat, too? I begrudgingly eliminated wheat from my diet and my sinuses cleared up almost instantly. For the past three years or so, I lived a mostly dairy and wheat-free life. I noticed that I felt a lot better without those foods, but I was still having skin issues. And my body was not cooperating even after vigorous workouts.

Because I never had these “allergies” medically confirmed, though, I almost felt like a fraud claiming them. I tried to make simple substitutions in restaurants without being too annoying. But I never went as far as to ask whether or not something was cooked in butter or if it had any gluten in the sauce.

So back to this allergy test. I was really afraid to get it. Part of me was afraid the results would come back that I was allergic to literally everything. The other part of me was (maybe more) afraid that it would come back and say I was allergic to nothing.

About a week and a half after I sent off the envelope, the results showed up in my inbox. My hands shook as I downloaded the PDF. I scanned through the introductory section until I finally got the food intolerances page: anise bay leaf, castor bean, cow’s milk, red currant, sheep’s whey milk, veal, and wheat.

I took a few deep breaths and read the list over again. Okay, that didn’t seem too bad. There wasn’t anything on that list that I was eating in excess and I had already somewhat figured out wheat and dairy. I read through the non-food intolerances and one in particular caught my eye: sugar beet seed.

After a quick Google search, I realized that sugar beet seed is used to make most table sugar.

Wait, what? I’m allergic to sugar?

In case you didn’t know, wheat and dairy are in basically everything. And sugar is in most of the things that don’t have the other two ingredients.

I think a lot of people would have read these results and been very upset, but I almost felt relieved. It felt good to know I figured out my wheat and dairy sensitivities on my own. And since I’d already been living mostly without them, it didn’t seem overwhelming to remove them totally from my diet. The sugar thing seemed somewhat difficult, but it almost made me excited.

Is that weird?

For years I wondered if there were certain kinds of food I should or shouldn’t be eating. Could I decrease my PCOS symptoms by just avoiding certain foods? Now I have a real, tangible answer. Yes, it’ll be hard, but at least I know what I need to do now.

In just the two weeks since I got my allergy results and cut these things from my diet, I have not gotten any headaches, my sinuses are totally clear, and some scars I’ve had for years are getting so light that you can hardly even see them.

It might not be convenient avoiding wheat, dairy, and sugar, but it makes me feel so much better. And I’m excited to see what else changes with my body when they fully leave my system.

And, at least I can still have pho.

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