On Aging

Well, it happened. My first “I can’t believe you’re still doing that at your age,” comment. I’m only 35, but when someone pointed out that it is impressive that I currently play in three kickball leagues “at my age,” it made me feel 70.

After taking a step back from the conversation (and dyeing my hair again to cover up the few extra grays that popped up), I tried to let the interaction roll off my shoulders. Since I am now writing a blog about the situation, I bet you can guess that it was much easier said than done.

In my daily life, I do not feel old. I am very physically active, I have a big social circle, and I have plans on most nights of the week. But then I step into a loud, crowded bar and start complaining about the noise, and instantly feel like I’ve turned into a grandmother. Or I’ll be engaged in a conversation with someone who I think is a peer until they let it drop that they were born the same year my first car was made, and I swear I can feel the calcium draining out of my bones.

I’m starting to feel dirty when I find uber-young celebrities attractive (here’s look at you, Shawn Mendes). A few weeks ago, a friend said he thinks it’s okay to date a much younger person as long as you couldn’t biologically be their parent, but I’m not sure I’m on board with that logic. I don’t want to be walking with a cane next to an Adonis with whispers of “cougar,” following in our path.

I say most of this in jest, but mid-thirties is a weird time. You’re in this in-between where you aren’t really young anymore, but you aren’t old either. And when do you officially cross that threshold into “old?” Is there a big neon sign you see as you move into that next phase of life? Or do you just wake up one day with another pain in some new part of your body and realize your youth is as far away as your ability to stay up all night and still function the next day?

I’m sure these answers are pretty subjective, but all I can say is I’m glad that I still look young enough for people to (sometimes) guess I’m in my twenties.