When I was in sixth grade, I got a perm.
I have curly hair.
I also very distinctly remember the moment I realized I have green eyes. I was sitting in the passenger seat of my mom’s 1999 Toyota Camry (which means this was either in 1999 or later) and I opened the visor mirror. For the first time in my life, I looked past my glasses and realized I really liked my eye color.
I was at least 15 at the time.
Why is any of this relevant? Because I spent much of my life not really *seeing* myself. It took me a long time to even look close enough at my own reflection to realize basic physical traits
.
I suspect it might be different for younger generations who have grown up with cell phones that make it easy to take 80 pouting pictures of yourself a day, but this was my reality. Although I am very aware of how I look now, I think there are still other ways that I don’t see myself.
For example, it surprised me to find out that not one, but two of my friends dreamt of me in the same night this week. In one dream, my friend and I got pedicures in Connecticut and called them “Connectitures.” In the other, that friend and I worked at a grocery store for a man we know and dislike in real life. Both dreams are hilarious for different reasons.
Another friend told me last week that regardless of how much time passes between our conversations, I’ll always be her “soulmate” friend.
No matter how isolated we make ourselves feel or how little we think we pop up in other people’s thoughts, our connections are stronger than we think. Any time you meet someone, you make a ripple in the timeline of their life. I don’t think any of us give ourselves enough credit for being memorable beings who can actually change the course of someone else’s life.
Seemingly simple conversations, suggestions about new restaurants, and even inside jokes weave together to form a piece of who we each are as individuals. These pieces creative connective threads between us and the people who have touched our lives. They might not realize we hold a piece of them inside just as we do not realize they do as well.
Basically, the point I am trying to get at is try not to be afraid of being yourself. Because who you are matters more than you know to the people around you.