Tag: change

Change

Have you ever woken up one day and realized you’ve changed? That all of a sudden you no longer appreciate things that once made you whole?

That happened to me over the past few weeks, and now I’m not sure I recognize myself.

I just took an epic trip to the East Coast full of amazing friends and experiences. In just a little over a week, I officiated a wedding, met a host of lovely new people, and saw a Broadway play. I walked along the beach, had deep, important conversations, and actually started to like Connecticut (which is a really big deal because it was one of my least favorite states before this trip). 

Most importantly, though, I realized some very important things about myself. Firstly, I have incredible people in my life. No, seriously. They are truly marvelous.

Friends I hadn’t seen in years asked me to perform their wedding ceremony. And instead of allowing me to be endlessly appreciative of extending me this vast honor, they kept thanking me for doing it! One of my closest friends and I finally got to travel together after twelve years of friendship. Another friend flew all the way across the country just because I was going to be out there so we could spend the week together.

Friends at home kept texting me because they missed me and wanted me to come back. The entire week made me feel loved, valued, and appreciated in a way that I would feel every day if I spent more time being grateful and less time worrying about silly things.

The second thing I learned on this trip is that I do not want the same things I used to want. Since I was 19, traveling was a huge part of me. In fact, “traveler” was a term I used to describe myself on many occasions. Even though this recent trip was amazing, I didn’t love the act of traveling as much as I once did.

Every flight I took landed early. There were no particularly annoying passengers on any of the planes. I watched movies or television shows to make the time go by faster. All in all, these were some of the best flights I’d ever had, but I still wished I was doing anything else.

I stayed in some crappy hotels and some really nice places, and I just wanted to be sleeping in my own bed. I had a continental breakfast that someone else prepared, but I just wanted to be in my own kitchen whipping up some eggs and fruit.

I took a commuter train and the subway. I used to love sitting on trains and listen to music while watching the scenery and other passengers. It never bothered me to have to take the subway and walk a bit instead of getting in my car and driving to my destination. Maybe it was the fact that I had a cold for a large part of the trip, but I found myself missing my vehicle any time I rode a train.

I’ve always considered myself very adaptable and could picture myself living in most places I visited, but this time I realized that I don’t want city life to be my daily experience. I’m much more interested in a simpler existence.

And lastly, I realized that I have built a life I love. All the pieces might not be exactly in place yet, but it was a life to which I was very eager to return. Maybe that’s why traveling wasn’t as invigorating as it once was; before traveling was a break from the humdrum of my lackluster daily experiences. They gave me a chance to do something exciting and be around people instead of spending too much time alone.

This time, though, traveling just made me even more grateful for what I have and excited to get back to start my next chapter of it. And that’s something very special and important will live in my mind next to all of the other amazing experiences from this trip.

Changes

I’ve been thinking a lot about changes lately. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but there’s a solar eclipse today (just kidding—I’m sure it’s been taking over your Facebook newsfeed for the last few weeks).

Anyway, a lot of people talk about changes in relation to the eclipse and I was thinking about how the biggest changes in our lives start with the smallest steps. We aren’t always aware of the impact of these simple decisions, but they often send waves through our entire lives.

I know that a lot of people are scared of too much change and prefer things to stay the same. But as living, breathing beings, our worlds are constantly changing and trying to stay stagnant might be doing more harm than good.

Whether you are trying to make a huge life shift or you want to start making small changes to improve the way you feel each day, it is important to think about the positive that change can bring. Change is one of life’s constants and it can be amazing. Just be sure to remember:

The Little Things Count

 One of the scariest elements of change is the idea that your whole life has to shift instantaneously. It actually doesn’t, though. If you want to eat healthier, for example, try to take baby steps toward your bigger goal.

I used to drink a lot of soda and I decided I didn’t want to do that anymore so I cut back to one a day. After that, I eventually stopped craving them at all and I’ve hardly had soda for the last fifteen years. If I tried to quit by going from 3-4 sodas a day to nothing, it probably would have taken me a lot longer to go through with it. Taking it slowly allowed me to make the change without actively realizing I was giving up soda. By the end, I accomplished my goal without feeling deprived.

Be Easy on Yourself

 On the opposite side of the spectrum, when someone decides they want to make a change, they often expect everything to be different right away. Unfortunately, it doesn’t usually work that way.

I know I have been guilty of being hard on myself when I don’t wake up and see a totally different daily reality. In fact, my friends often have to remind me that I am working toward change.

I’ve knowingly dealt with my PCOS since 2009 and sometimes I still feel like I have such a huge mountain to climb when it comes to my hormones. But then I realize that I’m starting to see really positive changes and those changes are a direct result of all the small things I’ve been doing for the last eight years.

Once you plant the seeds, you might not see how they are working, but it is important to have faith that they are. And one day you’ll wake up and notice that you are living a better reality, you just weren’t instantly aware of it because it was a gradual shift.

It’s Okay to Want Change

 Sometimes I feel like I’m ungrateful when I want new things for my life. But then I remind myself that just because I want new experiences, feelings, and situations, it does not mean that I don’t like the ones I’m currently living.

I know not everyone is like this, but I’m a person who really thrives on change (which might be why I’ve lived in six different cities in two countries and three states in the past ten years). If things don’t change frequently, I have a tendency to feel like I’m stuck and nothing is moving forward.

I’ve started to realize, though, that things are always changing. And when you take the time to check in with yourself and decide what you actually want out of your life, you are much more likely to get it.

Just remember to breathe, go easy on yourself, and appreciate the current moment before it morphs into a new one.