PCOS is a jerk. I’m pretty sure I’ve said that before—but it’s no less true now than it was then.
On top of all of the regular issues like messing with your weight and your cycle, studies have shown that PCOS also increases a woman’s risk for anxiety and depression. So this condition is basically bullying women who probably already have health issues and low self-esteem with the inability to remain calm and happy? Great…
Jerk.
Another thing I’ve mentioned before is that my PCOS is not nearly as severe as most and for that I am grateful. But that doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard. Exercising and eating healthy usually help me keep my mind pretty in check. I’ll have the occasional bad day, but I can talk myself out of it pretty quickly.
Unfortunately, I have to always work out and eat healthy to see any kind of results—whether they’re physical or mental. My life is a constant fight to keep my body and my mind in check.
And it. Is. Exhausting.
I was pretty motivated this last month and I went to the gym almost every day to do a workout with heavy weights. For most people, that is the extent of their workout for the day. Not for me, though. Once I got home and took a little time off, I popped in Insanity Max 30 or Jillian Michaels’ Body Revolution.
This is a lot of physical activity for one day and these workouts are hard. I tried to listen to my body and rest when I needed it. The exertion, the daily stress of life, and the fact that it is still 90 degrees outside and arctic inside most buildings, though, eventually wore me down and I caught a bad cold that lasted for about a week.
Again, in the life of most people, taking a week off of working out is no big deal. Sure, you might not be as strong as you were the first time you go back to the gym, but you’ll build your stamina up pretty quickly. That’s not the case for me, though, and it’s not for most women who have PCOS.
Even one week off can throw my entire body off whack. Which makes me feel bad about myself. Which makes it harder to get back into the gym. Which leaves room for anxious or depressed thoughts to fill my mind. Vicious cycle much?
I really try not to be so hard on myself. Friends and family yell at me about that all the time.
“You’re working so hard! It’s okay to take a day off.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be working out so hard.”
“Give yourself a break. You’re only human.”
I get what they’re saying. I really do. And I understand that life is about balance, which I am trying to work on.
But the fact of the matter is that until I find out exactly what works for me and my PCOS, I do have to work this hard. I have to keep fighting. Because I have no other choice.
